Heart at War
by mcbriderulz
Summary: Jake comes back from war to find Lilly has died. OCxOC
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Three. That was the number that kept popping up in Jake Adam's life. It was the date of his girlfriend's birthday, March 3rd. It was the number of years he had been gone in Iraq. And the number of weeks since he had gotten the letter.

When he arrived at his apartment he placed all his bags down. Not even bothering to unpack them. He quickly took a shower and changed into a suit. Jake looked at the clock. It was 1:05 he didn't have to be there until 3:00. He walked into his bedroom. There was a large window on the west wall and a large TV on the southern wall. A large bed faced the TV with two bedside tables on both sides. Jake walked over and picked up a framed photograph. It was a picture of him and Lilly at their college graduation. They had been dating for three years before he left to serve in the military. The letter he received three weeks ago notified Jake that Lilly had died in a car accident. Today was her funeral.

Jake looked up to the sky. The dark clouds were threatening to rain down on them. "rain at a funeral, how cliché." he mumbled to himself. He stood in the back. Not really paying much attention to what was being said. After the service was over, Lilly's father had spotted him and was making his way towards him. Not wanting to engage in a sad, sappy conversation, Jake turned quickly and jumped on his bike and sped out of the parking lot. He was the last to arrive and the first to leave. Jake turned right at the stop light and headed back to the city where his home was.

He laid down on his bed, not bothering to take his suit off first. Jake wasn't tired. He wasn't feeling anything. He had no emotion at all. He didn't know what to think about. He just laid there. Staring up at the ceiling, memorizing every bump and discoloration.

Jake finally turned his head to pay attention to what was going on around him. It had gotten dark outside, but the city lights washed into his window so it was light enough. He stood up and went into the kitchen, grabbed his keys, and headed down to the parking garage. There was his motorcycle. It was covered by a tarp to protect it while he was gone.

He sped down the highway, heading back to the cemetery. It was located up on a hill on the outskirts of town. The dark clouds still lingered in the sky, blocking the moon. It was too dark to see anything. Jake wandered through the grave yard, until he came upon upturned soil where it was recently dug into. He glanced at the grave stone. He shuddered. It was Lilly's. His breath caught in his throat as he ran back to the parking lot. Jake leaned up against a tree and breathed deeply. Tears swelling up in his eyes.

He jumped onto his bike. The engine roaring to life as he cranked the ignition. He sped away into the darkness. Instead of turning left, to head back to the city, he choose right, not bothering to stop at the red light. As he went farther into the rural area, the faster he went. All the emotions that he had been holding back were finally breaking out. Jake wanted it to end. Wanted for all his regret, all his memories gone. Street lights had disappeared. All that was left was the bright headlight of his motorcycle. The trees blurred by him. A signed warning "bridge maybe slippery when wet" flashed by. When the bridge was in view, he only went faster.

The bike bounced and slid as he made his way across the icy bridge. Jake lost control as he came to the end of it. All in a flash, the bike flew off the road, into a ditch, throwing him from the wreckage. He landed with a thud on the ground. He heard a snap and a sense of pain shot up through his arm. The shock of the impact put Jake in a daze. He opened his eyes slowly and saw some of his belongings laying out in front of him, one of them being his wallet. The flap was open, exposing a picture of Lilly in her prom dress. He thought about how beautiful she looked and wondered why she had to go so young. He heard tires screeching to a stop somewhere nearby.

Then nothing... Nothing but darkness


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A cool breeze blew across Jake's face. He heard a muffled voice growing louder and clearer.

The lights began to grow brighter. He squinted and started to feel dizzy. Jake crouched down and grasped the ground so he wouldn't fall. When the dizzy feeling passed, He noticed he was grabbing bright green grass. A person's voice was speaking some where nearby. He looked up. He saw a crowd of people sitting in rows. All were wearing black robes and Graduation caps. The speaker is finished his speech. Suddenly all the students stood and threw their caps up into the air, cheering. Jake noticed two student in particular. She had short blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He was slightly taller than her. He had wavy brown hair that fell in his face. Why did they seem so familiar to him?

The two hugged each other. He pulled away from her and gently lifted her head up by her chin meeting her blue eyes with his hazel ones. The young man smiled and slowly leaned down and pressed his lips to her's. The corner of her lips lifted, smiling into the kiss as well. He pulled away as some friends ran up to them.

Jake realized right away why they seemed so familiar. It was himself and Lilly on their graduation day. He smiled softly at the flash back. A cool breeze suddenly blew by again. The bright light and dizzy feelings returned. Jake leaned against a tree and closed his eyes tightly. His stomach settled as the wooziness dissapeared. He was on a beach. The hit sun blazed down on him, but strangely he didn't feel the heat. He Turned around wandering where he was now. His eyes stoped searching when they rested upon a couple laying down on some towels. As Jake steped towards them, he noticed that again it was himself and Lilly. As he got closer, he heard their conversation.

"okay now close your eyes" he said softly. Lilly smiled and willingly closed her eyes lightly. The past version of Jake sat up and dug into his pocket. He pulled out a ring. It had a silver band and a dazzling diamond in the middle. "okay, open them" he whispered. Lilly gasped. She immediately sat up. "Lillian Myra Jones, will you mary me?" She just stared at the ring and at him for several seconds before almost tackling him to the ground yelling "yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes!" they both sat back up laughing. She was pratcically glowing as he placed the ring in her finger. She looked down at it and moved her hand back and forth. The sun glinting on it. One of the bright beams shone into Jake's eye. He closed his eyes and covered them with both hands. When he could feel the light fading away, he slowly opened his eyes. He looked around where he was at. Jake was in his apartment. He was very confused. Paper shuffled behind him. He turned to see Lilly. She was sitting at the table looking through some papers. He turned towards the TV, a past version of himself was on the couch watching the news.

"what's this?" Lilly gasped as she went through the mail. "it says your supposed to be shipped out in three day to Iraq!"

"I know" Jake mumbled "I signed up."

"when!"

"about three weeks ago"

"why didn't you tell me!"

"I dunno, I guess I didn't want you to try to change my mind."

"if I hadn't found this, would you have left without even telling me?"

"um, yeah. No... Ugh I don't know" he sighed not taking his eyes off the TV

"why would you do this?"

"umm, to do my duty? To serve my country!" he was getting irritated.

"you could die!"

"I guess that's a chance I'm willing to take." he responded coldly.

"your just going to leave me here?" tears were streaming down Lilly's face now.

"oh... It's not like you haven't been left alone before" he stood and turned towards her.

"Your going to be off in God knows where, you can't work! How are we gunna get money to pay the rent?"

"oh, um, I don't know. Get a job maybe!"

By now they were yelling at each other.

"you expect me to work at McDonald's for however long you're gone?"

"if thats what you have to do, then yeah." he rolled his eyes. "you don't have to work at McDonald's, there are plenty of other places. You said you wanted to be a nurse, then do it!"

"you know I can't! I never finished college!"

"well you can figure it out. Your a big girl."

"so you wouldn't care if I became a prostitute?"

"um yeah I would. I'd rather not tell my friends my girlfriend is a slut."

"did. You just call me a slut?" she screamed at him.

"no, you called yourself one."

They stood there for a minute. Jake staring her down until she just collapsed on the floor.

Lilly took a deep breath. "please Jake, don't go."

"suck it up Lilly. I'm going and that's final."

With that past version of Jake stormed out of the apartment, leaving Lilly crying on the floor. Jake felt a painful pang in his heart. He closed his eyes as a few tears slipped out. How could he have been so mean to her? He opened his eyes again to watch the time and place change around him.

He stood in a white room. There seemed to be no end to it. It just kept going until it turned into nothing. This wasn't a flashback. He looked behind himself. Lilly was standing there. She was wearing a white robe. Her blue eyes shined brighter than stars. She looked at him sadly. She looked down and shook her head in disappointment. She slowly turned away from Jake and started walking in a different direction. "Lilly wait!" he reached out for her but he was stuck. He suddenly started sinking through the floor. The Bright room disappeared as Jake fell down into the darkness below.

Jake slowly opened his eyes. He was laying down. There were other people in the room talking quietly. A bright was over him. Not as bright as the ones before, but it was still a little unbearable. A constant beeping noise was sounding from nearby. Jake slowly picked up his head to look where he was. He was laying in a hospital bed. A doctor and a nurse where standing in front of his bed. His body ached and he felt unusually tired. The two took notice to the patient being awake. "you are very lucky to be alive Mr. Adams. Do you remember what happened?" Jake thought a moment, then shook his head. "you had a motorcycle accident. You went off the road and fell into a ditch. It's a miracle you survived much less walked away with only a broken arm and a concussion!" he chucked slightly. He acted as if injuries were a good thing. Jake tried to sit up, but the nurse pushed him back down. "sir, you need to rest." she assured him softly. He laid back down and closed his eyes.

Jake walked down the stone path of the cemetery, a bundle of roses clutched in her hand. He took a deep breath and held it...when it came into sight.

..Lilly's gravestone.

It was rather large and there were flowers engraved into it on either side of her name.

Lillian Myra Jones.

Jake sighed heavily as he sat down on the grass. He placed the roses in front of the stone, then ran his fingers over her name.

"..Hi, Lilly. I'm ...sorry I didn't come sooner. Lots of stuff to do, you know. Me being in the hospital... I just couldn't come. Till now, you know," he sighed, the tears he swore against dribbling down his cheeks.

"I think about you all the time. Do you think of me, too? ...God, there's so much I wish I could say to you. Like...how I'm sorry. For everything. For being such a jerk to you. For not being there when...when you passed away," he sobbed once, pulling a tissue from his pocket. He wiped his tears away.

"I hope heaven is as pretty as they say it is. You deserve only the prettiest heaven. You know with...massive amounts of flowers and sunshine. And you deserve peace and happiness," Jake looked down, choking back a sob. He looked back to the stone.

"I wish I could be there with you, but I doubt you'll be very happy to see me yet, so...I'll wait. ...You'll wait for me...right?" he asked.

Something that he had been dying to say the entire time floated into his mind. He couldn't stall any longer. He had to say it to her and he hoped she could hear him.

"I never got to say good-bye, Lilly. And I'm sorry."


End file.
